All right tough guys…here are some ways to show her you’re kind, sensitive, romantic, and all that stuff. And you’ll hardly have to spend a dime. If you have any others that are fool proof…post them and share your secrets that have worked.

Take a romantic hostage. Forget seduction, try abduction. Drop by her workplace midmorning, blindfold her with her best red scarf, usher her to your car and drive off — with her boss’s prior permission, of course. It’s a great choice this year as Valentine’s Day falls on a Thursday. What to do with your romantic hostage? How about lunch where you had your first date? Or a picnic at the courthouse where you were married? Or a latte at her favorite art museum or bookstore?

Create a spa-tacular. The only difference between your bathroom and a swank spa is imagination. OK, and maybe a staff of six. First, kill the lights. Next, add as many candles as fire code permits; tea candles are best because they won’t tip over. Arrange them at different heights around the room to create a fairyland effect. Warm your towels and robes in the dryer. Add light jazz or New Age music on the sound system, scatter rose petals in the bath, leave a trail of love notes leading from the front door to your private grotto and welcome her with her favorite ‘tini.

Shine her shoes. All of them. Well, the leather ones, then. I know, I know, she has a lot of them. Here’s how you do it: Arrange to take Thursday off, but pretend you’re going to work as usual. Then double back to the hacienda, pull out the shoeshine kit and get to work on those puppies. As you complete each pair, slip it into its own brown paper lunch sack, label it with a marker and return it to its rightful place in her closet. Once you’re done, close the closet door and affix the most creative big red craft paper heart you can muster with your names tied together with shoestrings. She will freak out.

Stage a chocolate intervention. You’ll need the help of a few good friends to pull it off. Come up with a pretext to delay her arrival home from work, to give the guests time to assemble. Have them arrive with two things — a healthy veggie you assign to them (broccoli, cauliflower, etc.), and something of their choosing from the chocolate family. Before she arrives, seat everyone around the table with their two items concealed and terribly concerned looks on their faces. Seat her facing them and inform her that this is an intervention. Then, one by one, have each guest place their veggie on the table and express their concern for her health. When everyone has spoken, let the tension build, then ask the group, “How can we help this girl?” At which point everyone shouts, “Chocolate!” and unleashes the flood of treats. Then proceed with party.

Candlelight dinner with Chef You. Surprise her with a full-course candlelight dinner at Chez You. If you’re an absolute novice in the kitchen, so much the better. Search online for an uncomplicated romantic meal you can prepare for two; veggie or meat marinara sauce over pasta, tossed salad, garlic bread and a simple tiramisu for dessert are probably within your reach. No guy meals allowed (pizza, steaks, Spaghetti-Os, etc.). Uncork a bottle of your — or her — favorite wine, light a few candles and serve her with your best suave waiter accent. She’ll eat it up!