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Watch the CMT Music Awards right here, right now!

Host Kid Rock opened with his ’90s hit “Cowboy” featuring Martina McBride, Kellie Pickler, Randy Houser, Trace Adkins, Zac Brown, Jamey Johnson and Hank Williams, Jr. Carrie Underwood walked away with two buckles: Video for “Cowboy Casanova” and CMT Performance for “Temporary Home” from the network’s Invitation Only. Male Video went to Keith Urban for “‘Til Summer Comes Around” and Female to Miranda Lambert for “White Liar,” while Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now” took Group and Brooks & Dunn‘s “Indian Summer” garnered Duo. Watch the entire show here.

Some highlights:

  • “Anyone thinkin’ about grabbin’ a mic, myself or Bocephus will personally punch you in the mouth.” –Kid Rock discouraging any would-be Kanyes.
  • “I actually interviewed them on the red carpet and one of the girls had a poof, they other one had a blowout. They’re really nice people.” –Presenter Snooki discussing Lady Antebellum.
  • “We were not expecting this so much that Mr. Dunn has gone to the restroom … in Santa Fe, NM … This is just the kind of thing that will make them think we’re breaking up the duo!” –KixBrooks accepting Duo.
  • “Mama’s don’t let your babies grow up to be Cowboys. Don’t let ’em retire and end their career, sign ’em to catch touchdowns for the Titans this year.” –Presenter and former Dallas Cowboy Terrell Owens, singing.
  • “I don’t know if you know what it’s like trying to get Bocephus out of the house. That really warmed my heart, more so than anything tonight because he hates these things … That almost made me cry, to be honest.” –Kid Rock on Hank Jr.’s participation in the opening number.
  • “My cell phone wasn’t in my jacket, was it? If it was, just send a tweet ‘thank you so much’ for me.” –Luke Bryan after winning the USA Weekend Breakthrough buckle and throwing his jacket into the crowd.
  • “Who the hell are you?” –Presenter Kenan Thompson (SNL) as Reba to Reba.
  • “Why is Terrell Owens here? Does anybody like him? I don’t think so. I don’t like him for shit.” –Trace Adkins backstage.
  • “Looks like you got a little bit of the oil spill on yours.” –PresenterDavid Spade responding to Kid Rock’s assertion that Spade’s hair looked blow-dried.
  • “I could grate cheese on that thing, y’all.” –Paula Deenadmiring The Situation‘s abs.
  • “I went to James Stroud’s house and Paul Simon was there and the first thing he said when I walked in the door was, ‘Where’s Ronnie?’ I looked at him and he started laughing and he goes, ‘Man I’m so sick of people asking me where Garfunkel is.'” –Kix Brooks backstage.
  • “You’ve had a great year yourself; your ‘Hillbilly Bone’ is huge.” –Laura Bell Bundy to Blake Shelton.
  • “[To] all the people watching around the world, I hope you come down to Nashville. This is an incredible town; a city with amazing music and amazing people.” –Kid Rock.