And if you’ve already purchased one of these, we hope you kept the receipt:
1. A puppy. If they haven’t expressed a desire for a pet, keep driving past the pet store.
2. Cooking classes. A guy will see right through the cooking class you purchased for the two of you.
3. A scale or gym membership. That’s a ticket straight to the doghouse.
4. “This Christmas” by John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John.
5. Snuggies. Even if they’re printed in their favorite sports team’s logo.
6. A Shake Weight. Unless, of course, you really hate the person you got as your office Secret Santa.
7. Keeping Up with the Kardashians on DVD. Even if your friends love them, please don’t contribute anymore to Kim’s pocketbook.
8. A guinea pig. They smell bad and they chew through their cages and will end up in your dress shoe.
9. An Atkins Diet Book. See “gym membership” above.
10. Tickle Me Elmo. Not this year…because…well, you know