FREQUENTLY ASKED AARP QUESTIONS

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As many of you know, I turned 49 a few months back.  This past week I received my first envelope from the American Association Of Retired People (AARP)

Amongst the membership information I also received this anonymously.  Though I'd share it with you.

Questions and Answers from AARP Forum:

Q: Where can men over the age of 50 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? 

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement.  When you're done, you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible... Is that true? Where can it be  found?

A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to  Egypt ."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-50 year-old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 50-plus year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 50-plus year olds to have problems with  short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep More soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 50-plus year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 50-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

Pray for me.

-Rik Out