Ten months later, my younger daughter gave birth to her firstborn. "Did you feel this way, Mom? Isn't it amazing? I never knew. Was I as cute?"
Motherhood, part two. That's what grandparenting really is. Your kids grow up, go off to school, move away. And they don’t need you anymore. They don’t call for advice. And you think, you’re done. That's it. The job is finished.
And then your kids become parents and you're suddenly back in the game. "Mom, can you?" "Dad, will you?"
When a child is placed in a woman's arms — in a hospital, at an airport, in a lawyer’s office, and whether the child is a newborn or a 10-year-old — a woman's life changes forever.
And so does the life of her mother.
I watch my daughters wipe noses and hands, buckle car seats, peel grapes, insist upon "please" and "thank you," wipe up spills, dry tears, read books, blow bubbles, monitor the TV, play games, and work outside their homes. And I am struck by the rigors of mothering — how hard it is and tiring and endless, and how amazing it is that anyone signs up for this job.
And then I think, this was once my job. I did all this. "How did you do it, Mom?" my daughters ask. And they listen to my answer because I've been down the road they're on now and they realize that maybe I know a few things they have yet to learn.
The mother-child connection. It changes. It evolves. It grows.
In the space between us now there is still no space. It is filled with children — theirs, but part mine. And on it goes. Mother to mother to child.
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I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.
This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.
"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
Statistically, females drive half of these.
That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.
That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
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'We receive our dead in silence, far from public view, honoring their sacrifice the only way we can,"
There are no reporters on the tarmac at Dover Air Force Base. The public is not allowed to witness the military tradition of "receiving the remains." Instead, there are soldiers, roused at dark hours to stand in the confines of what seems like a secret as the dead are brought home.
I am one of the soldiers. Nearly every day we learn of another death in Iraq. In our collective consciousness, we tally the statistics of dead and wounded. The number is over 500 now. But none of our conjuring are as real and tangible as the Stars and Stripes folded perfectly over a coffin cradling one of those statistics on his or her way home.
It does not matter where somebody stands politically on the war, but I believe that all who have an opinion should know the cost of that opinion. When a soldier dies in a foreign land, his or her remains are returned to the United States for their final rest. The remains arrive in Dover, Delaware without fanfare. No family member is present. There are no young children to feel sad or confused. Just a small group of soldiers waiting to do their duty and honor the fallen.
"Dover flights" are met by soldiers from the US Army's 3rd Infantry Regiment, the storied Old Guard. They are true soldiers, assigned to an esteemed regiment, but it is a unit defined by polish, not mud. It seems that they quietly long to be tested with their comrades "over there," But it is dear to me as I watch them that they find immense pride in honoring their country this way.
Silence. I am a helicopter pilot in the US Army, and it is my job to have the honor guard at Dover at whatever hour a flight arrives. In military-speak, the plane's grim contents are referred to as "HRs"-"human remains." Once the plane arrives, conversation ends. The soldiers form a squad of two even ranks and march out to the tarmac. A general follows, flanked by a chaplain and the ranking representative from the service in which the fallen soldier served.
The plane's cargo door opens slowly revealing a cavernous space. The honor guard steps onto a mobile platform that is raised to the cargo bay. The soldiers enter in lockstep formation and place themselves on bath sides of the casket. The squad lifts, the soldiers buckling slightly under the weight. The remains have been packed on ice into metal containers that can easily exceed 500 pounds. The squad moves slowly back onto the elevated platform and deposits the casket with a care that evokes an image of fraternal empathy. It is the only emotion they betray, but their gentleness is unmistakable and compelling. The process continues until the last casket is removed from the plane. On bad nights, this can take over an hour. The few of us observing say nothing, the silence absolute, underscored by something sacred. There is no rule or order that dictates it, but the silence is maintained with a discipline that needs no command.
The caskets are lowered together to the earth; here the soldiers lift them into a van, one by one. The doors close, and the squad moves out. Just before the van rounds the comer, someone speaks in a voice just above a whisper. We snap to and extend a sharp salute.
There are those who would politicize this scene, making it the device of An argument over the freedom of the press. But if this scene were ever to be exploited by the lights and cameras of our "infotainment" industry, it would be offensive. Still, the story must be told. A democracy's lifeblood, after all, is an informed citizenry, and this image is nowhere in the public mind. The men and women arriving in flag-draped caskets do not deserve the disrespect of arriving in the dark confines of secrecy. But it is a soldier's story, and it must be told through a soldier's eyes. In the military, we seldom discuss whether we are for or against the war. Instead, we know intimately its cost. For those of us standing on the tarmac at Dover in those still and inky nights, our feelings have nothing to do with politics. They are feelings of sadness, of empathy. And there is nothing abstract about them. Soldiers don't discuss the politics of war, but they know its cost better than anyone else.

Jonathan Evans is a Chief Warrant Officer 2 in the US Army stationed at Fort Belvoir in Virginia, as a pilot-in--command of a UH-60 Blackhawk for the 12th Aviation Battalion.
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by Paul Harvey
People that live at the end of Dirt Roads learn early on that
life is a bumpy ride. That it can jar you right down to your
teeth sometimes, but it's worth it, if at the end is home...
a loving spouse, happy kids and a dog.
We wouldn't have near the trouble with our educational system
if our kids got their exercise walking a Dirt Road with other
kids, from whom they learn how to get along.
There was less crime in our streets before they were paved.
Criminals didn't walk two dusty miles to rob or rape, if they
knew they'd be welcomed by 5 barking dogs and a double barrel
shotgun. And there were no drive by shootings.
Our values were better when our roads were worse!
People did not worship their cars more than their kids, and
motorists were more courteous, they didn't tailgate by riding
the bumper or the guy in front would choke you with dust and
bust your windshield with rocks.
Dirt Roads taught patience.
Dirt Roads were environmentally friendly, you didn't hop in
your car for a quart of milk you walked to the barn for your
milk. For your mail, you walked to the mail box.
What if it rained and the Dirt Road got washed out?
That was the best part, then you stayed home and had some
family time, roasted marshmallows and popped popcorn and pony
rides on Daddy's shoulders... and you learned how to make
prettier quilts than anybody.
At the end of Dirt Roads, you soon learned that bad words
tasted like soap.
Most paved roads lead to trouble, Dirt Roads more likely lead
to a fishing creek or a swimming hole. At the end of a Dirt
Road, the only time we even locked our car was in August,
because if we didn't some neighbor would fill it with too
much zucchini.
At the end of a Dirt Road, there was always extra springtime
income, from when city dudes would get stuck, you'd have to
hitch up a team and pull them out. Usually you got a dollar...
always you got a new friend... at the end of a Dirt Road
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Author Unknown
Before I was a Mom
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.
Before I was a Mom,
I slept as late as I wanted
And never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words of lullabies.
Before I was a Mom
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on
Pooped on
Spit on
Chewed on
Peed on
Or pinched by tiny fingers
Before I was a Mom
I had complete control of:
My thoughts
My body
And my mind.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child
So that doctors could do tests
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
When I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
Could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
Could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay
I had never known the warmth
The joy
The love
The heartache
The wonder
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.
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While I have never had the pleasure of meeting you and your husband, I felt the need to write you and express a very deep feeling that I have in my heart.
I as a person, am not brave. I do not tackle things head on, as I hate confrontation. I will travel 100 miles out of my way just to avoid a conflict. I am a American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other that what I hear on the news. I never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they did not know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for.
I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven’t heard from my husband. I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so.
I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn’t coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren’t yet old enough to understand. I have never had to hold my head up high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loves one gets to come home.
I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with.
And I have never had to feel the panic, rising in my heart at the sound of a ringing phone or knock at the door for fear that it is the news that everyone is terrified of getting.
For the reasons listed above, I can not tell you that I understand how you feel. I can not tell you that you must be strong. I can not say that you shouldn’t be angry, because you " knew what you were getting into when you married a military man." I can not say these things because I have never had to walk in your shoes.
What can I say for certain is that because of your unselfish acts of bravery and your husbands willingness to stand up for those who see him as " just another soldier"---- I will never have to walk in your shoes.
I do understand that a military wife you are expected to uphold a certain amount of control , but I never understood how you could do it, until now. I have figured out that you are not like other woman. You are of a special breed. You have a strength within you, that holds life together in the darkest of hours, a strength of which I will never possess. The faith you have is what makes you stand out in a crowd; it makes you glow with emotion and swell with pride at the mention of The United States of America.
You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American. I have more respect for your husband than I could ever tell you, but until recently I never thought much about those that the soldier leaves at home during deployment.
Until this moment I could never put into words exactly what America meant to me.
Until this moment, I had no real reason to… Until I heard of you.
Your husband and his military family hold this nation close, safe from those who wish to hurt us…. But you and those like you are the backbone of the American family. You keep the wheels in motion and the hearts alive while most would just break completely down. Military families make this nation what is today.
You give us all hope and you emit a warming light at the end of a long dark tunnel.
Because of you and your family…I am able to be me. I am able to have my family. I am able to walk free in this great land. Because of you and your family, I can look ahead to the future with the knowledge that life is going to be okay. Because of you and your family, I can awake to a new day, everyday.
I realize that you are a stronger person than I will ever be because of these things and I just wanted to take the time today to say thank you to you and your family for allowing me that freedom.
I will never be able to repay this dept to you, as it is unmatchable. However, I hope that you know that no matter where you are… what you doing… what has happened today…or what will happen tomorrow…your husband will NEVER be " just another soldier" to me… And you, my dear sweet lady, will never be forgotten.
You are all in my prayers everyday and I pray that God will bring you back together with your loved one safely.
Sincerely,
Melissa G. Bouldin-Reeves
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