WIL92.com: Derrick Keith

A MAN'S AGE IS DETERMINED BY A TRIP TO HOME DEPOT

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 14:05:02 -0700

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house -- mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes, T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the
following:

In your 20’s
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30’s
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40’s
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty so you don’t want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter’s age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50’s
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don’t want to get dog doo in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy’s Bait & Beer Bar and it says, ‘I Got Worms’.

In your 60’s
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50’s. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don’t have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70’s
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don’t even notice the dog doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80’s
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Walmart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

Video of the Brad Paisley fall.

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:45:36 -0700

Ouch. Country singer Brad Paisley took a nasty tumble at the finale of his American Saturday Night tour in Charleston, S.C. over the weekend. He was at the end of performing his encore finale, Alcohol, when he tripped on stage and fell, slamming into the stage set. He got up and waved goodbye to the crowd, then went backstage and was promptly taken to a local hospital by ambulance. "Man, am I sore today," he wrote on Twitter yesterday

SURPRISING EFFECTS OF THE CHILE EARTHQUAKE

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 17:07:30 -0700

Some less-discussed and rather odd consequences of the 8.8 magnitude temblor:

1. Our days on planet Earth will be shorter
The magnitude of the quake was so great it actually tilted the planetary axis — as a result, the world will spin infinitesimally faster and our days will be shorter by 1.26 millionths of a second. "It's interesting," says seismologist David Kerridge in the Wall Street Journal, even if "it has no particular consequence on anything."

2. Volcanoes may become rather common
Chile's earthquake is likely to prompt a "legacy of volcanic explosions," says Kate Ravilious in the New Scientist. Large quakes have historically acted to "resurrect previously inactive volcanoes" and make "active ones" more likely to erupt.

3. Chilean wine just got more rare
Reports from Chile's wine region paint a disastrous picture of "wine casks destroyed; huge vats cracked, their wine spilling out; ruined equipment." One vintner laments that the quake is "a double whammy" — it hit right at harvest time, meaning much of this season's crop will likely rot in the fields.

4. Printer paper may get pricier
Chile is one of the world's largest wood pulp producers and most mills in the country "have been shuttered owing to damage and power outages." Consequently, global paper prices could leap to $40 a ton — a roughly 5 percent bounce — according to analysts' estimates.

5. Virginians may sense a certain dryness
Water levels in a monitoring well in Christiansburg, Va., dropped two feet as a result of Saturday's quake, reports the Baltimore Sun. The only explanation: The site is "well known" for its sensitivity to "seismic waves."

YOUR CAR COLOR

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 17:25:13 -0700

The British Royal Automobile Club came up with a list of what a car's color says about it's owner. Here is what your vehicle is telling people about you..

BLACK: You're ambitious and status seeking.
GREEN: You're very traditional and an elitist.
BLUE: You're a team player and very sociable.
WHITE: You're aloof, dutiful and methodical.
GRAY: You're understated and cautious.
SILVER: You have a sense of style, but you can be pompous at times.
RED: You're outgoing, impulsive and easily bored.

FIVE THINGS WHICH CAN IMPROVE HAPPINESS

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 17:21:02 -0700

1. Be grateful - Some study participants were asked to write letters of gratitude to people who had helped them in some way. The study found that these people reported a lasting increase in happiness - over weeks and even months - after implementing the habit. What's even more surprising: Sending the letter is not necessary. Even when people wrote letters but never delivered them to the addressee, they still reported feeling better afterwards.

2. Be optimistic - Another practice that seems to help is optimistic thinking. Study participants were asked to visualize an ideal future - for example, living with a loving and supportive partner, or finding a job that was fulfilling - and describe the image in a journal entry. After doing this for a few weeks, these people too reported increased feelings of well-being.

3. Count your blessings - People who practice writing down three good things that have happened to them every week show significant boosts in happiness, studies have found. It seems the act of focusing on the positive helps people remember reasons to be glad.

4. Use your strengths - Another study asked people to identify their greatest strengths, and then to try to use these strengths in new ways. For example, someone who says they have a good sense of humor could try telling jokes to lighten up business meetings or cheer up sad friends. This habit, too, seems to heighten happiness.

5. Commit acts of kindness - It turns out helping others also helps ourselves. People who donate time or money to charity, or who altruistically assist people in need, report improvements in their own happiness.
Lyubomirsky has also created an iPhone application, called Live Happy, to help people boost their well-being.

ACM Nominations!

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 17:47:33 -0700

ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR*
Kenny Chesney
Toby Keith
Brad Paisley
George Strait
Taylor Swift
Carrie Underwood
Keith Urban
Zac Brown Band

TOP MALE VOCALIST OF THE YEAR
Kenny Chesney
Brad Paisley
Darius Rucker
George Strait
Keith Urban

TOP FEMALE VOCALIST OF THE YEAR
Miranda Lambert
Reba McEntire
Taylor Swift
Carrie Underwood
Lee Ann Womack

TOP VOCAL GROUP OF THE YEAR
Lady Antebellum
Little Big Town
Randy Rogers Band
Rascal Flatts
Zac Brown Band

TOP VOCAL DUO OF THE YEAR
Brooks & Dunn
Joey + Rory
Montgomery Gentry
Steel Magnolia
Sugarland

TOP NEW SOLO VOCALIST OF THE YEAR*
Luke Bryan
Jamey Johnson
Chris Young

TOP NEW VOCAL DUO OF THE YEAR*
Bomshel
Joey + Rory
Steel Magnolia

TOP NEW VOCAL GROUP OF THE YEAR*
Eli Young Band
Gloriana
The Lost Trailers

ALBUM OF THE YEAR [Awarded to Artist(s)/Producer(s)/Record Company(s)]

American Saturday Night – Brad Paisley (Arista Nashville)
Produced by: Chris DuBois, Frank Rogers

Lady Antebellum – Lady Antebellum (Capitol Records Nashville)
Produced by: Victoria Shaw, Paul Worley

Play On – Carrie Underwood (19/Arista Nashville)
Produced by: Mark Bright
“Quitter” Produced by Max Martin & Shellback for Maratone Productions and Mark Bright

Revolution – Miranda Lambert (Columbia Nashville)
Produced by: Frank Liddell, Mike Wrucke

The Foundation – Zac Brown Band (Southern Ground / Bigger Picture / Atlantic)
Produced by: Keith Stegall, Zac Brown

SINGLE RECORD OF THE YEAR [Awarded to Artist(s)/Producer(s)/Record Company(s)]

“Need You Now” – Lady Antebellum (Capitol Records Nashville)
Produced by: Lady Antebellum, Paul Worley

“People Are Crazy” – Billy Currington (Mercury)
Produced by: Carson Chamberlain, Billy Currington

“Red Light” – David Nail (MCA Nashville)
Produced by: Frank Liddell, Mike Wrucke

“Toes” – Zac Brown Band (Southern Ground / Bigger Picture / Atlantic)
Produced by: Keith Stegall, Zac Brown

“White Liar” – Miranda Lambert (Columbia Nashville)
Produced by: Frank Liddell, Mike Wrucke

SONG OF THE YEAR [Awarded to Composer(s)/Publisher(s)/Artist(s)]

“Cowboy Casanova” – Carrie Underwood
Composers: Mike Elizondo, Brett James, Carrie Underwood
Publishers: Brett James Cornelius Music (ASCAP), Carrie Okie Music (BMI), Rincon Ave Music
(ASCAP), Stage Three Songs (ASCAP)

“Need You Now” – Lady Antebellum
Composers: Dave Haywood, Josh Kear, Charles Kelley, Hillary Scott
Publishers: EMI Foray Music (BMI), Darth Buddha (ASCAP), Dwhaywood Music (BMI), Hillary Dawn Publishing (SESAC), Radiobullets Publishing (BMI), Warner-Tamerlane Publishing Corp. (BMI), Year Of The Dog Music (ASCAP)

“People Are Crazy” – Billy Currington
Composers: Bobby Braddock, Troy Jones
Publishers: Crozier Music Enterprises LLC (BMI), Mighty Nice Music (BMI), Sony/ATV Tree Publishing (BMI), Tiltawhirl Music (BMI)

“White Liar” – Miranda Lambert
Composers: Natalie Hemby, Miranda Lambert
Publishers: Pink Dog Publishing (BMI), Sony/ATV Tree Publishing (BMI), Tiltawhirl Music (BMI)

“You Belong With Me” – Taylor Swift
Composers: Liz Rose, Taylor Swift
Publishers: Sony/ATV Tree Publishing (BMI), Taylor Swift Music (BMI)

VIDEO OF THE YEAR [Awarded to Producer(s)/Director(s)/Artist(s)] (Off Camera Award)

“Boots On” – Randy Houser
Producer: Eric Welch
Director: Eric Welch (Drake footage: Vickie Vaughn)

“Need You Now” – Lady Antebellum
Producer: Clarke Gallican
Director: David McClister

“Welcome To The Future” – Brad Paisley
Producers: Mark Kalbfeld, Jim Shea, Peter Tilden
Director: Jim Shea

“White Liar” – Miranda Lambert
Producer: Tameron Hedge
Director: Chris Hicky

“You Belong With Me” – Taylor Swift
Producer: Randy Brewer
Director: Roman White

VOCAL EVENT OF THE YEAR [Awarded to Artist(s)/Producer(s)/Record Company] (Off Camera Award)

“Hillbilly Bone” – Blake Shelton featuring Trace Adkins (Reprise Records / Warner Music Nashville)
Producer: Scott Hendricks

“Honky Tonk Stomp” – Brooks & Dunn featuring Billy Gibbons (Arista Nashville)
Producer: Ronnie Dunn, Terry McBride

“I Told You So” – Carrie Underwood featuring Randy Travis (19/Arista Nashville)
Producer: Mark Bright

“I’m Alive” – Kenny Chesney with Dave Matthews (Blue Chair/BNA)
Produced by: Buddy Cannon, Kenny Chesney

“Seeing Stars” – Jack Ingram featuring Patty Griffin (Big Machine Records)
Produced by: Jack Ingram, Jeremy Stover

Derrick's Pet Of The Week!

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 17:49:24 -0700

Hi, my name is Darla and my ID number is A478027!

I am a sweet 5-year-old Domestic Shorthair cat with a tuxedo-style black and white coat. I am a good little girl who is litterbox trained and I like to keep my pen tidy. I came to the Humane Society of Missouri as a stray and was suffering from severe ear mites. I have since been cured and I won't face any lasting medical problems as a result but my ears are scarred from the mites. The staff and volunteers call me "the ultimate lap cat" because I love nothing better than being close to people. I'll let you know when I'm content and happy because I have a gentle. lulling purr. I would love a home to share with adults, children, other cats and I'll even befriend a canine! I'm an all-around great girl, waiting for you to take me home. Come meet me today!

To adopt: Apply in person at the Humane Society of Missouri’s Chesterfield Valley Center at Boone’s Crossing. Visit all our adoptable pets online at www.hsmo.org.

Tim McGraw WINS COUNTRY GOLD!! See bracket here!

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 17:17:42 -0700

Thanks so much for all of you who played along. It was a lot of fun! If you missed it here are the winners and loosers.

Dierks Bently

George Strait 74%

George Strait

George Strait 64%

Taylor Swift

Brooks & Dunn 54%

Brooks And Dunn

George Strait 51%

Kenny Chesney

Garth Brooks 51%

Garth Brooks

Garth Brooks 52%

Toby Keith

Toby Keith 60%

Keith Urban

Tim McGraw 50.4%

_Brad Paisley_

Trace Adkins 56%

Trace Adtkins

Trace Adkins 50.2%

Carrie Underwood

Rascal Flatts 55%

Rascal Flatts_

Tim McGraw 52%

Jason Aldean

Jason Aldean 66%_

Alan Jackson

_Tim McGraw 51%

Tim Mcgraw

Tim McGraw 69%

Martina McBride

THE HAPPIEST/UNHAPPIEST CITIES IN THE U.S.

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 17:33:41 -0700

If you're unhappy where you are, you can pick up and move. Thanks to a new study, we now know where all those happy people live. A survey (Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index) asked more than 353,000 Americans to find out the happiest -- and the unhappiest cities in the United States. Residents of large cities — those with a population of 1 million or more — generally report higher levels of well-being and more optimism about the future than those in small or medium-sized cities. In small cities, at 250,000 or less, people are more likely to feel safe walking alone at night and have enough money for housing.

... Overall, the top 10 cities include four in California, two in Utah and one each in Colorado and Hawaii. Of them, only the Holland, Mich., and Washington, D.C., metro areas are located in the Eastern or Central time zones.

... Many of the bottom 10 are in economically embattled regions. Three are in the Alleghenies and three in the Rust Belt. Only Shreveport, La., and Modesto, Calif., are west of the Mississippi.

The 10 happiest cities are:

    1. Boulder, CO
    2. Holland-Grand Haven, MI
    3. Honolulu, HI
    4. Provo-Orem, UT
    5. Santa Rosa-Petaluma, CA
    6. Santa Barbara-Santa Maria-Goleta, CA
    7. San Jose-Sunnyvale-Santa Clara, CA
    8. Washington-Arlington-Alexandria, DC-VA-MD-WV
    9. Ogden-Clearfield, UT
    10. Oxnard-Thousand Oaks-Ventura, CA

... The 10 unhappiest cities are:

    153. Pensacola-Ferry Pass-Brent, FL
    154. Hickory-Lenoir-Morganton, NC
    155. Shreveport-Bossier City, LA
    156. Evansville, IN-KY
    157. Kingsport-Bristol, TN-VA
    158. Youngstown-Warren-Boardman, OH-PA
    159. Flint, MI
    160. Charleston, WV
    161. Modesto, CA
    162. Huntington-Ashland, WV-KY-OH

Reba And George Concert Set List...

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 16:09:08 -0700

Now this is just the set list from a recent show they did together. One or both could always change some songs but a good general idea if you are as excited as I am!

Can't Even Get the Blues
The Fear of Being Alone
Strange
The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia
I'll Have What She's Having
Fallin' Out of Love
Pink Guitar
I Keep on Lovin' You
Nothing to Lose
Medley: Somebody Should Leave/For My Broken Heart
Does He Love You (with Lee Ann Womack)
I Want a Cowboy
The Greatest Man I Never Knew
Consider Me Gone
Why Haven't I Heard From You
Because of You
Comedy Skit (with Melissa Peterman)
I'm A Survivor (with Melissa Peterman)
Is There Life Out There

Encore:

Fancy

George Strait

Twang
I Hate Everything
Check Yes Or No
I Can Still Make Cheyenne
Run
Wrapped
Honk If You Honky Tonk
The Seashores Of Old Mexico
Texas
The Fireman
Ocean Front Property
Heartland
I Ain't Her Cowboy Anymore
She'll Leave You With A Smile
Where Have I Been All My Life
How Bout Them Cowgirls
Arkansas Dave
The Chair
Amirillo By Morning
I Saw God Today
Give It Away
River Of Love
Living For The Night
Troubadour
Unwound

Encore:

High Toned Woman
Folsem Prison Blues
The Cowboy Rides Away

AMAZING BUT TRUE PRESIDENTIAL FACTS!

Mon, 15 Feb 2010 17:15:06 -0700

   Thomas Jefferson read Greek, Latin, French and English.

   John Quincy Adams used to get up two hours before sunrise to go skinny dipping in the Potomac River.

   Franklin Pierce was arrested for running over a woman while driving his carriage in Washington, DC. The charges were later dropped.

   Ulysses S. Grant was arrested for speeding while driving a horse and buggy in Washington, DC. He had to pay a fine of $20 and walk back to the White House.

   Benjamin Harrison was so afraid of electric lights that he used to have White House staff turn them on and off.

   Warren G. Harding once lost all the White House china gambling, on one hand of cards.

   Woodrow Wilson kept sheep on the grounds of the White House.

   Jimmy Carter was the first president to be born in a hospital.

   Millard Fillmore was responsible for the first library in the White House. He was also the president who had indoor plumbing installed at the White House.

   James Garfield could write in both hands at the same time in different languages.

   President John Tyler Jr. was a father of 15 children

   William Howard Taft was the biggest president. He was 332 pounds and was six feet and two inches tall.

   Ulysses S. Grant was a chain smoker. He smoked about 20 cigars per day.

   Franklin Delano Roosevelt's mother forced him to wear dress until he was five years old.

   Dwight David Eisenhower liked to play golf so much he had a putting green built on the White House lawn.

   John F. Kennedy's father gave him $1,000,000 when he turned twenty-one. (Each of his nine brothers and sisters got a million dollars too.)

   At fifteen Lyndon B. Johnson he ran away from home and traveled to California where he worked as a grape picker and auto mechanic.

   Lyndon B. Johnson used to go through the White House at night turning lights off that were not needed. He did not want to waste the taxpayers money.

   Gerald Ford was the only President not elected as President or Vice President. He was appointed Vice President by President Richard Nixon and then became President when Richard Nixon resigned.

   When Bill Clinton was in high school he shook hands with President John F. Kennedy in the Rose Garden.

   President Andrew Johnson, Richard Nixon and Bill Clinton are the three presidents who had to face trials in court during their tenures.

   President Abraham Lincoln was the first bearded president.

   John F. Kennedy was the first Catholic president.

VALENTINE'S DAY MYTHS FOR MEN

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 14:05:53 -0700

MYTH #1 - It's OK to skip Valentine's Day.
Ahhhh...no. She might realize it's a hyped up holiday, but that won't get you off the hook. She'll see her friends going on dates and getting flowers and YOU will be in the doghouse.

MYTH #2 - You have to celebrate on February 14.
No. No one says you have to celebrate on the same day as everyone else. Instead, pick a day to plan your date and declare that day your own personal Valentine's Day. Places will be less crowded and she may enjoy mixing it up a bit.

MYTH #3 - You're trying to save money and she knows it, so it's OK to skip Valentine's Day.
Again...no. Don't plan an expensive date, but do surprise her with an inexpensive but thoughtful activity. This is a great opportunity to earn brownie points.

MYTH #4 - You've only been dating a few months, so it's not necessary to celebrate.
False. You can't ignore it, and you'll royally screw it up if you do. Instead, don't plan anything romantic, think of a fun activity. Anything to get you laughing. And a funny card and inexpensive bouquet will go miles.

MYTH #5 - You must do dinner on Valentine's Day.
Why not mix it up? Try a couple's massage, look for an old fashioned roller skating rink in your city, or go to a jazz show instead. Dinner is okay, and you can't go wrong with it, but it's a bit unoriginal.

MYTH #6 - You need to spend loads of money on a gift.
This is sooooo false. It's the thought that really counts the most on Valentine's Day. Get her a small gift with lots of meaning. If you're starting to get serious, buy her a robe to keep at your place.

A SUGGESTED VALENTINE'S DAY PLAYLIST

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:35:38 -0700

A SUGGESTED VALENTINE'S DAY PLAYLIST

Looking for a few tunes to play on Valentine's Day? Here are some suggestions:

Brooks & Dunn: "Proud of the House We Built," "Ain't Nothing ‘Bout You"
Jason Michael Carroll: "Livin' Our Love Song"
Kenny Chesney: "She's Got It All," "Me and You" You Had Me From Hello
Sara Evans: "I Could Not Ask for More," "Perfect"
Alan Jackson: "A Woman's Love," "Livin' on Love," "Remember When," "I'd Love You All Over Again"
Martina McBride: "I Just Call You Mine," and of course, "Valentine"
Montgomery Gentry: "Lucky Man"
Craig Morgan: "Love Remembers"
Jake Owen: "Don't Think I Can't Love You"
Brad Paisley: "Then," "Waitin' on a Woman," "She's Everything"
Dolly Parton: "I Will Always Love You"
Chuck Wicks: "All I Ever Wanted"
Gretchen Wilson: "Come to Bed"
Chris Young: "Gettin' You Home
George Strait I Cross My Heart, Run

Taylor Swift Greeting Card.

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 15:04:53 -0700

Taylor Swift's new American Greetings cards are out in stores now.

The first 12 in the collection are being introduced with a display marked, "Hi, I'm Taylor and these are my cards."

Here's one of them, which features music.

On the front it says, "It's a love story."

On the inside: "And my happily ever after is you."

Derrick's Pet Of The Week!

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:43:04 -0700

Hi, my name is Starburst and my ID number is A461920!

I am 1-year, 9-month Labrador Retriever mix with a short tan and white coat. I came to the Humane Society of Missouri in May 2009 as a stray. Since I have been here the staff and volunteer have learned that I am very smart girl so they have been working on my training skills. I already know how to sit, lie down and we are working on stay. I walk nicely on a leash especially when I'm wearing my blue harness. In my free time, I love to play, chasing balls and enjoying rounds of fetch. I also enjoy lounging on my bed especially while enjoying a bone or other treat. I am hoping for a home to share with adults and children alike. I will be most comfortable in a home where I am the only dog. My friendly and outgoing personality is infections - I'm sure to put a smile on your face. I'm a great girl who has been patiently waiting for 9 long months for a forever home. Won't you be my Valentine?

To adopt: Apply in person at the Humane Society of Missouri’s Macklind Avenue Headquarters in St. Louis City. Visit all our adoptable pets online at www.hsmo.org.