Dirty Laundry – Grab a laundry basket and cut out the bottom. You may need to secure it with string to create “suspenders” that will hold the basket in place around your waist. Fill it with dirty laundry and you’re good to go.

Cereal Killer – If you like puns this costume is for you. All you need are empty mini cereal boxes, fake blood, plastic knives and some safety pins. Stab the cereal boxes with the knives and apply fake blood. Attach the cereal boxes to a plain t-shirt using safety pins and there you have it — a scary cereal killer.

Bunch of Grapes – Start with a purple or green sweat suit or leotard, green or purple balloons, and brown tights or leggings. Blow up small purple or green balloons and carefully pin the ends to the sweat suit or leotard.

A Recyclable – Wear a trash bag and adorn with empty bottles and cans.

Backwards Man – You simply put on a shirt and a pair of pants backwards, then put a couple of T-shirts or other padding into the pants butt, to give yourself some “back.”

Happy Halloween!!

Derrick Keith

In a survey of parents, here are the weirdest Halloween handouts:

Animal Food — Doggie bones and cat treats?

Inappropriate Literature — Age-appropriate comic books are acceptable, but Playboy magazines and religious pamphlets spoil the fun of Halloween.

Random Foodstuff — Besides apples, parents in the survey noted that their kids had received canned vegetables, potatoes, bulbs of garlic and frozen dinners.

Toiletries — Dentists commonly give out toothbrushes, but other personal hygiene frequent finds included sample-sized soaps, shampoo, conditioner and even band-aids.

Odds ‘n Ends — Free trial software CDs, golf balls, batteries, and packs of pushpins, bobby pins, staples and paper clips.

Out of Season Candy — Halloween candy is supposed to be gross — fake ear wax, boogers, scabs, and even gooey eyeballs are all fair game. But what’s really gross is the obviously leftover candy from a way-past holiday, like old chocolate Easter eggs and Christmas candy canes.

Marketing Material — Cards and coupons for everything from babysitting and bowling to roof repair and real estate have been discovered among the sweeter scores.

Costumes have come so far. You can go to any of the big Halloween stores and pick up any cool mask imaginable really. I have heard the one in highest demand this year is Sarah Palin. If you don’t have $50 to drop on a costume it is just as fun to make your own. Here are just a few (some kind of corny) ideas. So what are you going to be? Have you heard of any really cool or funny ideas? Please feel free to share. Happy Halloween!

• Picnic: buy or make a white and red checkered picnic blanket. Attach plastic or paper plates, plastic utensils and plastic food to it. Cut a hole in the center and wear the cloth like a poncho. Add some fake ants for that authentic effect!

• Nudist on Strike: Wear normal clothes and wear a sign around your neck that says “Nudist on Strike.”

• Perfume Sales Girl: Dress in really nice clothes and lots of makeup. Carry around many samples of perfume and squirt people all night long. So as not to send everyone into a sneezing frenzy, substitute water for the perfume.

• Grim Reaper on Vacation: Buy or make a Grim Reaper outfit, but then wear a lei or flowered necklace, a camera around your neck, Bermuda shorts, paint your nose white (like lifeguards) and carry around some postcards or a map.

• Typical Tourist: Wear a big floppy hat, flowered shirt and long shorts, flip-flop sandals and a camera around your neck. Carry a map and look lost all the time.

• Twister Game: Buy a Twister game. Staple ribbon to two corners of the spinner and tie the ribbon under your chin so the spinner becomes a “hat.” Cut a hole in the center of the Twister mat and wear it like a poncho. All night long you can tell people to “put left hand on red” and so on.

• Leaf Blower: Wear regular clothes. Wear a hat with a leaf hanging down from the rim so that the leaf is in front of your face. When people ask what you are blow on the leaf and make them guess.

• Cereal Killer: Clothing should be kind of rugged and torn. Carry a bloody knife and have blood on your clothes. Attach labels or actual little cereal boxes all over your clothes.

• Killer Bee: Buy a bee costume. Smear some fake blood on it and carry a fake weapon.

• Spelling Bee: Buy a bee costume. Attach felt or Velcro letters to your suit and carry some around with you. If you can get enough little letters in Velcro your friends will have fun spelling words on you!

• Kissing Booth: Find a box big enough to fit over your body. Cut or open the bottom and top of the box so that you can slip into the box. Tie rope onto one end of the box so the ropes can go over your shoulders (this will hold the box on you). Wear sexy clothes and have lipstick kisses on your clothes and face. On the box write “Kisses, $1.00.”

• Fried Egg: Wear all white. Attach a piece of yellow felt to your stomach.

• Exterminator: Wear coveralls. Attach plastic bugs and spiders all over the outfit.

• Gum under the Table: Make a small cardboard table and wear it on your head. Dress in all pink.